The New Laws of Networking – Part II
In The New Laws of Networking - Part I, we gave you six pointers on how to develop your personal image. Now we will dig deeper into a book that although published in 1936, now remains truer than ever: Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People. When it comes to personal networking, few people have the authority of Carnegie, and we believe that the advice he gave us 80 years ago is still relevant today. This book reminds us about basic principles of human interaction that we often forget, especially in a time where face-to-face communication is considered less necessary. Here are our final five tips on personal networking:
1. Learn (and say) people’s names
This may sound trivial, but think about it. How many times have you asked "Can you tell me your name again?" 15 minutes into a conversation? When someone introduces themselves, make sure to listen and remember their name. Now, not only remember it, but make sure you repeat it frequently throughout the conversation. This is the easiest way to set the pace for a good relationship. As Dale Carnegie puts it, “remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language”.
2. Greet and smile
Never underestimate the power of a smile. Smiles are contagious and can induce a positive attitude in others; they are the easiest step you can take to get people to like you. Even if you see your colleagues and clients every day, make sure you say hello and goodbye and smile sincerely at them. Forgetting to smile common mistake we make due to shyness, and others usually perceive it as rudeness. Remember to greet everyone, from the CEO to the janitor. Extra points if you combine this advice with point #1 and greet people using their names.
3. Focus on people’s interests
When meeting someone, try to figure out what their interests are. People connect with others who show honest appreciation for the things they are passionate about. Your client would love to tell you about week-long cruise he took to the Bahamas. Make sure you ask him about it as a break in a conversation about your product.
4. Make people feel important
As humans, we have several behavioral drivers: making money, getting a degree, finding a partner; to name a few. One key driver is the need to feel important. Knowing this, the best way to motivate people is making them feel and understand that they are important. How? Show sincere appreciation towards your colleagues and clients, both publicly and privately. Instead of criticizing them, encourage and incentivize them. Basic psychology promotes positive reinforcement over harsh sanctions. Your support will bring the best out of your people, and they will be more motivated to work with you.
5. Be brave enough to admit when you are wrong
This may be one of the hardest tips to follow. I do not know one single person who enjoys admitting their mistakes, especially at a professional level. It is natural and it does not make us bad people. But when you make a mistake, be open about it. Admit it quickly and with precision. It will instantly disarm the other person and you will feel relieved of not having that weight on your shoulders.
With these two articles you have a handful of tips that we are sure will help you in your professional and even personal relationships. Make sure to actively practice them so they become part of your day-to-day encounters with people, and we can assure you that you will be surprised of the results. We also encourage you to read Dale Carnegie’s masterpiece, a timeless guidebook about human interaction.